Love

I remember one of my teachers from 9th grade once asked everyone in class "Is there anyone here who is not in love." Quite a few arms were raised, including mine and some of those who were in an actual relationship. On the other hand, I believe that some who didn't raise their arms were lying, which is kind of ironic. Then, that teacher shared with us the reason he had asked such question was because he didn't remember not bein in love.

I used to believe in that, since my healing from previous "loves" was due to new ones, but at the time I raised my hand, I actually meant it.

The truth is that I can become very needy and, when I felt like my life lacked that sweet emotion I kept throwing and deceiving myself with this crushes I really believed to be love.

It so happens that my current and most dreadful crush is leaving, and that left me quie upset. But it feels ridiculous now that I know I was only looking at him and chasing him with my eyes so that my heart could race a little.

And it did. My heart raced for him and it still does when I think of him. It aches a little when I think of never seeing him again. And I don't regret it at all that I feel this way. But it is still nothing like love, and as expected, I'm not cut out for it.